The wrong end of the wand
by MC Quillmagic
Summary: This is a story that i wrote with my friend (fichick) one day in Science. My amagitation works overtime so even while looking at chemicals i can come up with something! THIS IS VERY FUNNY so please please read and REVEW!


What a day!  
  
One Sunday Harry was very bored. "Hmm this is Hogwarts yet there's nothing interesting, darn it." Just then Daniel Radcliffe opened the common room door. "Hey, I look like you. Chris, are you playing tricks again? I know for real this time I am not Harry Potter now put me back," he said. "Hey you, how much did he pay you to get me mad?" "You're tellin' me you're not Harry Potter! State o' you, man!" "Er, excuse me?" "Look! I have black hair! Green eyes! Free glasses with reaction lenses from Specsavers! You don't look anything like me!" Daniel burst into tears. "You hurt my feelings! And I'm a millionaire child actor! I'm telling Chris!" Hermione and Ginny came down from the dorms to see what all the noise was about, just as Bonnie Wright and Emma Watson appeared. "CHRIS!!!!!" the actresses yelled. "Who the hell are you?" said Hermione. "I am Emma Watson, and I play Hermione Granger in a film called Harry Potter. I can't believe you've never heard of me!" "You play me? Pu-lease! Go get your hair fixed." "Wait a minute," Dan said in an offended tone. "Who are you?" "WE ARE THE TRIO," they chanted. "Well not Ginny and - Where is Ron?" said Harry. Just then by a freak coincidence Ron flew straight through the window on Harry's Firebolt. "NO! Ron, you'll scratch the handle!" Harry yelled, exasperated. "Sorry old chap. Who the hell are they?!" said Ron, rubbing his head. "I'm Emma Watson and this is Dan Radcliffe. Where's Chris?" she asked Dan. "He said the flying thing." "Was all fake. I know. Let's go find Rupert." "Who is Chris?" asked Harry innocently. "What?! Chris is the director of the movie." Then Rupert Grint came in. "Hiya guys! I'm super Ron otherwise known as THUNDERPANTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Ron fell over in shock. "I will take insult at you calling yourself Ron." "Who the hell are they?" Rupert said. "He stole my face!" said Ron, and started to cry. "Did not!" "Did too!" "Did not!" "Did too!" "Did not!" "Did too!" "Did not!" "Did too!" "Did not and who are you?" "Well we are the real thing I'll have you know and you are foney-baloneys, trying to act like us but Emma you are just hopeless with that hair!" Hermione shouted. "Are not!" "Are too!" "Are not!" "Are too!" "Are not!" "Are too!" "Are not!" "Are too plus you're not really smart I am. Ha. Ha. Ha." Hermione stomped off to her room. "Oh well, stick her," Emma said. "And I like my hair." "That still didn't tell us who Chris is though," said Ginny. "He's the director of the film," said Rupert. "What film?" "Oh, just the biggest movie event of the year." Dan said. "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban," the actors all said. "W.what?" said Harry. "This is our movie set. Our movie. Get outta here!" Bonnie explained. "Er, like, NO. This is our school, our home - You bugger off!" "CHRIIIIIIIS!!!! GATECRASHERS!!!!!!!!!!" Emma yelled. "Shut it, bighead. Maybe you didn't realise, but this is." "Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry!" chorused the gang. "Yeah well this is." "Warner Brother's Studios!" chorused the actors. "Is not!" "Is too!" "Is not!" "Is too!" "Is not!" "Is too!" "Warner Bros!" "Hogwarts!" "Warner Bros!" "Hogwarts!" Both sides fixed their twin with a steely glare. Except for Emma, who glared at Crookshanks, and Harry, who looked a bit pre-occupied. "How about a Dominoes pizza anyone?" he asked. Hermione came down the stairs, because she was hungry and had heard the word pizza. Everyone nodded, and as soon as they'd mumbled agreement, Dobby came running through the door, wearing a Dominoes cap. "Hello, sirs and miss, Dobby is here to take your order." He brought out a little notepad and quill. "Ok, we back off. This really is Hogwarts," said Dan, because he had just realised he had no money, and couldn't pay for the pizzas. "So how come we're here?" asked Emma. "We don't know, don't care, but stay for pizza anyway." Harry said. "So we'll have cheese and pepperoni - Hawaiian anyone?" "So, tell us Dobby, how did you get this job?" Hermione asked. "Well Dobby went to get Winky a pizza and they said that Dobby was cute and was like a cross between ET and Ja Ja Binks, and Dobby had connections. They said Dobby would bring them lots of customers, and now Harry Potter has got a pizza from Dobby's Dominoes! Yeah!" Dobby snapped his fingers and a pile of pizza boxes appeared. Everyone started munching. Then Malfoy came in, wearing the Dominoes cap. "Did someone call for Dominoes?" he asked, then noticed the boxes of pizza. "Get the hell out, ferret guy," said Ron. "Only doing my job." Tom Felton walked into the room, looking lost. He saw Malfoy and hugged him. "My long lost twin! I've missed you!" he said emphatically. Draco looked completely non-plussed. "Tom, what're you doing?" asked Emma. "I've found my twin!" said Tom. Draco had gone purple from being hugged too tight. "Put.me.down.please." he stammered. "Oh, sorry, bruv." "Get lost! I don't know who the hell you are!" Draco broke free and started fixing his hair. "Hey, you stole my hair!" "But you're my twin!" "Are not!" "Are too!" "Are not!" "Are too!" "Are not!" "Are too!" "Are not, I am Draco Malfoy evil child wizard extraordinaire, I am one of a kind." "So I'm just some guy pretending to be you?" "Yes." "Coooool there are real witches and wizards!" Everyone raised their eyebrows at him. He was a little slow. "Hey, Malfoy, before you go, get us some chocolate cake." "Nah." He took off the Dominoes cap and spat on it. "Oh well, maybe he's not my brother," said Tom sadly. "Too right I'm not!" Draco said. His eye twitched and romantic music came on in the background (in his imagination), and a dreamy look came over his face as he stared at.Emma. "Why ya lookin' so googly?" Emma said in an 'Eww what a geek' way. "She's the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. Whoa," Draco said. "What?!" Emma said. "Hey! She looks like me! What about me! At least I'm a witch unlike her - MUGGLE!!" Hermione jumped up and down, frantically waving her hands in the air, in a vain attempt to catch Draco's attention. Tragically Hermione's ankle caught on the table leg, and she went crashing to the ground. Ironically Tom was standing in the right position and caught her. "Oh my hero! Thank you!" Hermione said. "Eh, what ever, man." Tom said. "But you saved my life!" She kissed his cheek. "I am eternally grateful!" Harry resisted the urge to punch Tom's light out. Ron did likewise. He just forgot about the resisting bit. "You.you punched me, me you punched!!!" Tom cried. He ran to the nearest mirror. "I have a black eye, you bastard! Now people are going to think Draco is a wuss! Draco is not a wuss!" "What?" Draco yelled. "Ron, you eejit! Now the real Draco is gonna look stupid! Everyone get him!" Tom and Draco ran after Ron, who jumped on Harry's broom. "Nooo! You have scratched the handle!" Harry cried, as Ron took flight out of the closed window. Tom and Draco, being terribly bright, jumped through after him. Harry followed suit, but only in an attempt to get his broom back. Rupert yelled "Geronimo!!!" and jumped too, landing squarely on the Whomping Willow. "Oof! Yow! Ugh!" "That's gotta hurt," said Hermione and Emma, who were retaining their dignity and watching from the window. Tom and Draco were chasing Ron, except they happened to be forty feet below him, namely on the ground. They all ran around in circles. "Curse you, Ron Weasley!" Tom shouted. "Hey, you know what guys?" Harry said, running around like a headless chicken. "I've figured out what's going on! This is all a dream, so since it's mine I want to fly!" Harry ran round and round in circles until he fell over in a heap. "Poor thing's gone mad," Hermione said. Chris, who was also watching from the window, said, "Oh my god, the next movie! I have gone mad! I quit!" Everyone stopped running/screaming/flying. "You quit?!?" They all said. "Yeah. You're all nutcases." "Dammit. We might as all wake up then," said Harry. "So we're all out of a job. I hate you, Chris," said Emma. They started pelting him with rotten tomatoes. Just then, JK Rowling ran onto the lawn. "STOP!!!!" she screamed. They did. "The next book!" she said ecstatically. "It's been published!!!!!!" "Oh god," said Harry. "What a day." 


End file.
